Marauder
by Pantz
Summary: You were once part of something special.


**_Disclaimer: Everything from HP books belongs to JK Rowling_**

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**_Marauder_**

You were once part of a quartet, a vital asset to a group of boys you held close to your heart. You once ruled Hogwarts using witty remarks and overly cocky, charming smiles. You were so exultant back then, so content with life and everything that surrounded you. You look back now on your foolish adventures and nights in Hogsmeade and involuntarily shiver as you sit in your dark living room. Everything changed so quickly.

You look into the mirror and images swarm your mind. It feels as if the Mirror of Erised is right in front of you and your greatest wish is coming to life. In the mirror they're here with you right now debating on Quidditch statistics and talking about the latest development in each other's jobs. In the mirror you see yourself young again, healthy, and instead of awkward silences that surround you and your one time best friends laughter fills the air. All you really want, you think, is for life to be as it was before. You want to meet them in the Three Broomsticks for butterbeer and a quick laugh. You want to hang out with them at bars like you did for James' bachelor party. You want to be able to forget your lycanthropy like you did back at school. You just want to be happy again, to enjoy life as you did before, but those simple wishes never come true. To much has happened, has driven you apart.

You like to pretend it's their entire fault that they're the ones who stopped answering your letters and stopped making an effort to visit. You pretend it was them who were too immersed in their lives to care about how you were doing, how life was treating you. They were to busy with their new jobs and new wives or girlfriends, to busy with their new lives to owl you or call on you. You've been replaced in their hearts, replaced with Auror duty or pregnant women, replaced with fancy dinners and apartments overlooking diagon alley. Their new lives have swallowed them up and the more involved they get in it the less room there is for you. There's no longer a place for you in their lives.

You were once part of something special and you think that that's the reason being alone now is so painful. You used to be used to it. As a child you were always isolated from society, banished to your house. You had no friends, no true love, but Hogwarts changed that. Hogwarts brought you the three most important people in your life and made you forget the obscurity in which you once lived. You were once a part of a quartet. At some point in this life you were special. You were a Marauder and that alone was something to be proud of.

They taught you everything you know today. All they compassion you have, the cleverness, even your slight cockiness was because of them. They taught you to be self assured, to love who you are and for a few years you did. You were able to look in the mirror and smile. You were able to be a werewolf and not cringe because of it. You were able to be happy for the first time in your life and that was something they did. They showed you every single reason you were important, every reason why they wanted you as their best friend.

In your heart you know they don't mean to leave you out of their lives. In your heart you know they still care about you and think about you. Once in a while you'll get a letter inquiring after your health or just asking random questions. You meet Lily for tea once a week and sometimes James accompanies her. But it isn't the same. You're no longer their confident, their best friend. You were stripped of that role in their lives; it was taken away from you. You're no longer the boy who sat with them in the common room at midnight planning a prank. You're no longer the one they call to solve a problem or get some necessary advice. You're just Remus now. Just someone they once knew at school.

You were once a Marauder. You once walked the halls of Hogwarts blissfully with airs of royalty. You look around your apartment and your eyes land on the wooden box half way filled with letters. It doesn't make a difference who you once were because they aren't here anymore. No one is here to tell you that it's okay you're a werewolf or that your advice was brilliant and saved their lives. No one is going to knock on your door for a day out to Hogsmeade or a quick chat at a bar. You were once a Marauder, once part of a quartet with an unbreakable bond. You look around you now at the darkness and shadows. Everything is breakable, you think, nothing is built to last. You were once part of something special and now you're nothing at all.

End

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